“My wife’s in excruciating pain with cancer.”

“My son left the Church and now he’s having an affair.”

“My husband is an alcoholic but won’t get help. Our family’s falling apart.”

And these were just her first three people in line at the meeting where my husband and I were ministering! I couldn’t bring myself to lift my eyes to see how many more were waiting for prayer. What stories of misery and pain were yet to be disclosed, I wondered? What impossible circumstances would be described? And what could Al and I do anyway? What could we possibly offer?

Then I caught myself. ”Wait a minute, Patti. These folks don’t need your help and advice. They need Jesus, the Master of the Impossible, the One who raises the dead and calls into being things that are not.”

That quick reminder put the situation in perspective. For the remainder of the evening I could listen compassionately to my friends’ needs, and then place them in the nail pierced hands of Jesus with confidence. In fact, as Al and I opened ourselves up to the Holy Spirit, we began to receive words from Scripture, exhortations and even prophecies to encourage each person. But the ministry didn’t flow out of our own wisdom or resources, it was a gift of the Spirit. When the evening ended I felt refreshed instead of drained. Turning to Jesus and opening up to the Holy Spirit does that.

I’m not always so quick to turn to Jesus in such situations. One day Al and I went away for a time of rest and prayer at St. Joseph’s Abbey an hour away from our home.. We were assisting at Mass when I spotted three people I knew in the congregation. Immediately my heart sank. They were people who usually approached me for ministry. I could just picture my quiet afternoon evaporating in conversation and prayer counseling. My mind began racing for ways to avoid contact with these people after Mass. Although I successfully managed to “escape” conversation, I lost my sense of peace in the process.

Later that day in prayer I recalled the situation and my reaction to it. The Lord seemed to say, “Had you turned to me immediately, you would have had the grace you needed to respond to them.”

Why did I panic? Why did I want to escape? I felt depleted of resources and forgot to turn to the Lord for strength, that’s why. I didn’t want anyone to interfere with my “private time.” By choosing the path of self-reliance and self-protection, I was actually the loser. In that situation I would have found more refreshment by turning to the Lord than by running away.

If you can identify with my desire to escape, take heart! Jesus is accustomed to such reactions from his friends. Remember the Gospel story where the harried disciples, longing to escape from the crowd, retreat to a lonely spot? Imagine their frustration to find that same crowd waiting on the opposite shore! Jesus had compassion on the people “for they were like sheep without a shepherd.” And he taught them at great length.

When the disciples tried again for a little privacy by suggesting that Jesus send the crowd away for food, the Lord replied, “You give them something.” Then he multiplied the few meager loves and fish the disciples had given him, thereby providing enough for everyone, with 12 baskets left to spare!

The lesson is clear: The disciples needed to rely, not on themselves, but on the presence of Jesus, and so do we. Had you turned to me immediately…these words of the Lord remain an invitation and a challenge as I face demands on my time, energy, and love. My resolution this new year is to try to turn to Jesus immediately when I feel like running away so that the words of St. Paul may be my own: “I can do all things in him who strengthens me” (Phil. 4:13).
© Patti Gallagher Mansfield, 2007, www.ccrno.org