June 10, 1990 I had a singular experience while praying before a magnificent life-size crucifix at the Church of St. Blase in Dubrovnik, Yugoslavia. After Mass we had a free afternoon to sightsee and shop in the beautiful old city. While I had every intention of strolling through Dubrovnik, I sensed a quiet interior call to remain behind in prayer. Then I discovered that beneath this exquisite portrayal of the crucified Lord is a reliquary containing a fragment of the true Cross which is venerated by a constant stream of pilgrims.

It is difficult to express what transpired in the time I knelt there, except to say that I experienced "the love of Christ which is beyond all knowledge." Hours sped by like moments as I beheld "the wood of the Cross on which hung the salvation of the world." It was a sheer gift, all grace, totally undeserved... as every experience of God's love is. I felt myself irresistibly drawn, falling in love with his humanity, with his Passion.

He is indeed the Suffering Servant, meek and humble of heart. The wound in Jesus' side reminds us of the inexhaustible spring of mercy which flows from his heart toward those who take refuge there. The words of the Anima Christi echoed within me, "In your wounds I feign would hide, ne'er to be parted from your side."

I had some limited experience of what St. Paul meant when he wrote, "I have been crucified with Christ, and the life I live now is not my own; Christ is living in me" (Gal. 2:20). "May I
never boast of anything but the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ!" (Gal. 6:14). Behold the Cross! Our salvation! Our healing! Our victory!

Later that day I met a woman from our group who asked if I had had a good afternoon. "Wonderful," I replied. "Look at this lovely necklace I bought," she said. "What did you buy?" How could I explain to her that I hadn't purchased anything money could buy? Rather, I had come to realize how Christ purchased me by the blood of his cross. I had discovered in a deeper way than before that Jesus Christ really is the pearl of great price, a treasure worth forfeiting everything else to possess. With renewed desire I was longing to "grasp the prize, since I have been grasped by Christ" (Phil 3:12).

A friend of mine once told me that when she was troubled or lonely, she'd go sit quietly in church and look at the crucifix, just to remember what Jesus did for her. Somehow in light of his passion her own burden seemed easier to bear. She knew that if Jesus loved her enough to lay down his life for her, he'd help her through whatever suffering she had to face. She learned to behold the cross.

I've recently taken our own family crucifix down from the wall, dusted it off, and put it near the place I pray. Four year old Patrick keeps asking me, "Mama, why does Jesus have these big nails in his hands and his feet?" Why indeed? "Because he loves us, Patrick," I reply: Instinctively my son venerates the cross in gratitude for such love. Jesus is looking for companions of the cross, those who will return him love for love.

One of the saddest verses to me in all of Scripture is from Luke 23:49. "All his friends were standing at a distance." While Jesus suffered on the cross very few dared to draw near. The Imitation of Christ speaks of the few lovers of the Cross. How many would feast with Jesus and celebrate his miracles. Yet how few would fast with him and bear humiliation for his sake.

Each Lent the Church calls us to contemplate the mystery of the cross. I know the Holy Spirit wants to teach us how to love the cross in our daily lives. Here are just a few ideas. We can say "yes" to whatever God sends, stretching out our hands like Jesus, being nailed to God's will. That means unite our joys and sorrows to Jesus' own sacrifice. Try giving thanks instead of grumbling. We can forgive "as soon as a quarrel begins", instead of waiting until the other guy apologizes first. We can serve the needs of others like Jesus who washed feet. Let's not be friends who stand at a distance from the cross.

I'm just a beginner in loving the cross, but perhaps this prayer of mine may help some of you. "Lord Jesus, burn out of my heart a love for myself. Burn into my heart a love for you and for your cross. Amen." © Patti Gallagher Mansfield, 2007, www.ccrno.org